God’s approach to “Authentic Male Leaders” in the family and in the church.
By Scott Blanchard
Overcoming Past Hurt
Carrying the weight of your past is a sure fire way to make sure you don’t get to the place God has designed for you to go. We have to learn that God will not give you more than you can bear at the time. But that does not mean we are not suppose to be able to bear more as we grow in Christ. If we actually implement “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” then “all” would cover anything God gives us to bear.
The key to overcoming past hurt is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying “I am sorry.” Forgiveness is what you seek after an authentic meaningful apology. Forgiveness is the beginning of reconciliation after an offense, and not the end of an apology. Reconciliation is action, once you ask forgiveness you must make things right by restitution or rebuilding trust. This is where we have failed. We know we need to apologize when we do something wrong or cause pain, but we have stopped short of actually asking forgiveness and mending the hurt relationship with action.
Sometimes we can be hurt by someone that is unable to ask for forgiveness. Maybe that person is too prideful to seek forgiveness and reconciliation, maybe they are unaware of the offense, which happens more than you can imagine. Possibly the person has passed away and left the relationship or situation unsettled. In any of these situations as a maturing Christian we must grant forgiveness even when the offender hasn’t asked for it. Sometimes this is the hardest part to do. No matter, God calls us to forgive, not because someone has asked us for forgiveness, but because he forgave us. When you learn to forgive because you have been forgiven by Christ then you will open up new avenues for God to move through you to help others.
Sometimes as men, we have the hardest time reaching out and asking for forgiveness. Is it fear of rejection? Is it fear of showing weakness? Chances are our alpha male syndrome is raring its prideful heart. Pride is one of the greatest lies Satan uses against men. To be physically dominant is in our design, but it is not in the design to act arrogant, boastful, and above all others. It is to protect the weak and build up those around you and you can only accomplish this with a servant’s heart. We men must humble ourselves to reach out for forgiveness as well as granting forgiveness and when we get to this place in our walk with Christ, we have strengthened our family, our friends and the community around us.
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